Cat jokes

- Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
- What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
- What is a cat's favourite song? Three Blind Mice.
- What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.
- Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? For kitty littering.
- What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.
- What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.
- What is a cat's favourite colour? Purrrrrrrple!
- What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
- What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck filled fatty puss.
- Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he's in a bad mewd.
- How does the cat get its own way? With friendly purrsuasion.
- What is a cat's favourite subject in school? HISStory.
- How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
- Why are cats such good singers? Because they're very mewsical.
- What is the cat's favourite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
- What is a cat's favourite movie? "The Sound of Mewsic."
- What side of the cat has the most fur? The OUT-side.
- What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.